The Institute for Reformed Biblical Counseling |

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When sinners say "i do" study guide

To say “I am a sinner” is to stare boldly at a fundamental reality that many people don’t even want to glance at. But when we acknowledge that painful reality in our lives, several great things become clear. The greatest benefit of acknowledging our sinfulness is that it makes Christ and His work precious to us. Like Jesus said, “Those who are well have no need for a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32). Only sinners need a Savior. That’s the beginning that leads us to grace. This is not a depressing thought. It recognizes that to get to the heart of marriage, we must deal with the heart of sin. A great pastor once said, “Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.” He was getting at a profound truth of the gospel. Until we understand the problem, we will not be able to delight in the solution. Grace is truly amazing because of what we’re saved from. There lies hope for sinners who say “I do.”

Help! my marriage has grown cold

When two people choose to live in marriage for the rest of their lives, they will face challenges to work through. The transformation from two independent people to a one-flesh, other-centered union is not easy. Where can you turn for help? This booklet offers practical counsel from the Bible, helping you to work through marriage challenges in a God-honoring way.

Lasting love: how to avoid marital failure

What makes love last a lifetime? No one marries intending to fail. Each couple that says “I do” hopes for a long and beautiful life together. But as time passes, many drift apart, and some eventually call it quits. But what about the ones who stay the course, who don’t just bear through marriage but actually love it? What’s their secret? It’s simple, really: there is no secret. They follow God’s revealed design. In Lasting Love, Alistair Begg unfolds this design. After laying theological foundations, he builds levels of application, showing how God’s blueprint makes marriages sturdy and vibrant. Ideal for both those considering marriage and those already married, Lasting Love is a comprehensive book on the essentials of a great and godly union, such as: what the Bible says about marriage vows, gender roles, and parenting, what to look for in a potential spouse, and how to cure and prevent marital decay. Heed the advise of this pastor who has seen too many marriages come and go. Let yours last a lifetime. Includes a study guide for spouse and group discussion to help you put the book’s principles to practice.

marriage: whose dream?

What is your dream for your marriage? If your marriage seems less than ideal, is your patience with God wearing thin? What if God’s dream for your marriage differs from yours? In this eye-opening booklet, Paul David Tripp shows how refocusing your dreams on God-centered priorities can invigorate both you and your marriage.

Passionate housewives Desperate for God

Have you struggled to reconcile God’s vision of virtuous womanhood with worldly myths that marginalize and mock the role of the homemaker? Do you wrestle with cultural messages that demean the homemaker’s calling and exalt instead the emotionally androgynous power-woman — the wife whose worth is measured only by the degree of her ambition, the shape of her body, or her money-making skills? Such is the image of the “desperate housewife” that the modern media, culture, and feminism are promoting with great energy.

In a delightfully fresh and honest way, this book addresses these issues head-on and provides fresh vision for the hopeful homemaker. Hear a former “Christian” feminist share how she went from a die-hard homemaker-in-training to a dedicated career woman and then back again — after God gripped her heart. See the hollow counterfeit of whitewashed feminism and “me-ology” destroyed. And consider the beautiful picture painted in Scripture of the truly fulfilled homemaker who glories in the hopeful calling God created for her.

Losing that lovin' feeling/picking up the pieces

When a romantic relationship ends, the combination of potentially depressing emotions can wreak havoc in the lives of those involved. This is especially true for the person who did not want the relationship to end. But for the Christian who is willing to do what the Bible says, these distressing emotions can be brought to an end. If you are hurting as a result of such a break-up (broken engagements/dating breakups/abandonment/divorce), this book can lead you away from heartache and into a healthier, happier and holier relationship with Christ.

Help! my spouse has been unfaithful

You never dreamed this would happen, but you are reeling from the news that your spouse has been unfaithful. You don’t know what to do. The emotions you are feeling are intense. Betrayal, rejection, bitterness, despair; these turn your life into a lonely journey. You stand at a crossroads: the decisions you make now will impact the rest of your life. Where can you turn? This booklet can assist you as you navigate your way through this painful time. The perspective and hope offered here come from God’s Word. What God has to say to you in your crisis is powerful and practical.

Pre-engagement: 5 questions to ask yourselves

How do you know if you’re ready to marry? What are the signs that a man and a woman are heading in the same direction and are right for each other? In this booklet a biblical counselor and a pastor team up to offer five pertinent questions that will help couples decide whether to commit themselves to each other for life. These questions bring to light basic convictions, assumptions, expectations, priorities, and more. As couples think through and discuss them, they will get to know themselves and each other better—a wise investment toward building a marriage on a solid foundation, with Christ at the center.

preparing for marriage god's way

Preparing for Marriage God’s Way is a marriage counseling resource that uses thoughtful self-examination to reveal the personalities, backgrounds, and expectations that you and your partner are bringing to your union. Through rigorous Bible study, you will learn about God’s expectation for marriage and be equipped with His solutions for dealing with typical marriage conflicts. Three follow-up lessons for use after the wedding help you to reflect on all that’s happened since you said “I do.”

restoring your broken marriage: healing after adultery

Anger...fear...despair...guilt...shame...when your marriage is broken by adultery, the core struggles of your heart are revealed. But although you and your spouse may be experiencing many of the same emotions, you are standing on opposite sides of a deep abyss--one of you has profoundly hurt the other. Is it possible to bridge the gap between you and heal your marriage?

solving marriage problems: biblical solutions for christian counselors

This is a book to help counselors understand and deal with typical problems that arise in a marriage by offering biblical solutions.

strengthening your marriage

Wayne Mack recognizes the challenges involved in building a strong marriage. He also knows that Scripture provides the method and means for meeting those challenges with growing success. In this volume Dr. Mack has gathered a wealth of practical information on marital roles, communication, finances, sex, child raising, and family religion. This valuable counseling aid for pastors can also be used with great benefit by couples on their own.

the excellent wife

This book is a welcomed first because it is a Scripturally based, systematic and practical work for today’s women. It offers a detailed portrait of a godly wife. Not only is the standard high and holy, but by God’s grace is attainable.

the exemplary husband

Couples who commit to the biblical principles will find a oneness in marriage that will give God glory and bring His blessing. God ordained marriage between a man and a woman for companionship, procreation, etc. However, God says much more in the Bible about husbands loving their wives than He says about wives submitting to their husbands. He created marriage to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

the intimate marriage

R. C. Sproul offers this practical guide to help married couples—or those seeking to get married—develop the skills of marriage. Diligently scriptural, The Intimate Marriage shows how marriages can have an abundance of joy when grounded in the wisdom of God.

Questions at the end of each chapter will help couples apply these principles to their marriage.

when sinners say "i do" dvd series

Marriage is the union of two people who arrive at the altar toting some surprisingly large luggage. Often it gets opened right there on the honeymoon, sometimes it waits for the week after. The Bible calls it sin and understanding its influence can make all the difference for a man and a woman who are building a life together. In this eight-session video series, Dave engages his audience with humor and honesty as he speaks about sin and the power of the gospel to overcome it. He opens the delightful truth of God’s word and encourages the reader to see more clearly the glorious picture of what God does when sinners say “I do.”

when sinners say "i do"

Marriage is the union of two people who arrive at the altar toting some surprisingly large luggage. Often it gets opened right there on the honeymoon, sometimes it waits for the week after. The Bible calls it sin and understanding its influence can make all the difference for a man and a woman who are building a life together. When Sinners Say “I Do” is about encountering the life-transforming power of the gospel in the unpredictable journey of marriage. Dave’s writing style embraces the reader as he speaks honestly, and sometimes humorously, about sin and the power of the gospel to overcome it. He opens the delightful truth of God’s word and encourages the reader to see more clearly the glorious picture of what God does when sinners say “I do.”

god's counsel for marriage and parenting

"It only stands to reason that God who made every nation of people would define exactly how He wants them to function in the world that He has placed them in... He alone put the husband & wife together in marriage. He alone knows how they should relate to one another... Raising children also works best when it is done God's way. Man's way leads to problems of all kinds. Parents need to search & study God's Word and pray for His Spirit to lead them. Therefore we present to you this book on marriage & parenting."

self-centered spouse: help for chronically broken marriages

Anyone who is married is already a self-centered spouse . . . but when this all-too-common sin becomes severe and chronic, it results in a marital environment of abuse or neglect -- leaving the victimized spouse feeling trapped and hopeless. But how might this hopelessness change if we knew that Jesus addressed just such chronically broken relationships?

Brad Hambrick examines Jesus' teachings about relationships to show us how we can turn the other cheek while keeping away from unhealthy and destructive paths. He identifies different types of self-centered spouses to show us what we are dealing with, shares strategies for interacting with them, and points to evidences of genuine change to bring hope to anyone living with a chronically self-centered spouse.

relationships: a mess worth making

In Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Tim and Paul discuss the relational disappointments that we all suffer both in and out of the church. But they are also optimistic about the power of Christian beliefs to redeem and restore our relationships. Rather than presenting new or sophisticated techniques to make relationships flourish, the authors instead focus on the basic, Christian character qualities that can only be formed in the heart by the gospel.

sexual sin: combatting the drifting and the cheating

How do we end the cheating and drifting? Because sexuality is a spiritual act, not a purely biological one, the solution is to hide God's Word in our hearts. Here Jones shows us how the Bible reaches to the roots of sexual sin.